


You make me feel invincible

by sorrywat



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Deckerstar - Freeform, Episode: s05e08 Spoiler Alert (Lucifer TV), F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, In which Lucifer is a bit more self-aware, My First Work in This Fandom, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, Season 5B theory, Vulnerability, i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28562505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorrywat/pseuds/sorrywat
Summary: It was a good thing.It was as if ice was creeping over her chest, seizing her throat every time she was reminded of his invulnerability, his immortality. He had his mojo back. “I’ll always tell you what I desire,” he’d said, cheeky grin in place. She believed him, but couldn’t he see it wasn’t about that?"I’ve just put a tiny dent in the giant wall that you’ve erected around yourself.""I think I may have dropped my guard."Or; my take on why Lucifer is invulnerable after watching Season 5A
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	You make me feel invincible

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is the first fic I've written for this fandom (also the first of my writing I post). 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!!
> 
> (Also if anyone has any other fics that address the vulnerability issue they are much welcome! I couldn't find any and I'd love to see other takes on this.)

_"So, what, you're not afraid of what his newfound invulnerability means? 'Cause we angels, we self-actualize"_

* * *

“Detective, is something the matter?” Lucifer’s soft British accent made its way through the haze in Chloe’s mind.

She shook herself a bit “Uh, sure, yeah” she had no idea what they’d been talking about, too caught up in her head. They were in one of LA’s most exclusive restaurants –the owner owed Lucifer a favor. She’d dressed to meet the part, a long dark blue dress with a neckline that dipped almost to her stomach. She wondered how much of this was she actually enjoying the way she looked or an armor in an attempt to fit Lucifer’s imposing figure.

Lucifer was no longer vulnerable around her. That should be a good thing, right? He was _safe_ now. She wasn’t a liability to him. It still left her skin tingling and a sense of wrongness in her heart. The moment she mentioned getting close to him –which was a _good_ thing– his invulnerability was back –which should also be a good thing.

 _I may have dropped my guard_.

Had he become bored with her already? Scratched the itch and was now done? He hadn’t shown her he was the devil like he did Linda. He hadn’t told her she was an actual _miracle_. Las Vegas and a blonde stripper ( _exotic dancer, Detective_ ) came to mind. Sure, he was sweet, charming, ever the gentleman but a small voice in her head reminded her that he was _Lucifer Morningstar_ LA’s playboy, most eligible bachelor, sin incarnate and she was Chloe Decker, single mother, LAPD detective.

She loved him. That probably made it even worse. Every time he stepped into her line of sight, she could feel her heart speed up, a smile unbidden every single time she heard his voice. He’d turned the word “detective” into “Detective” capitalized and _so much more_ than just her title. It made her feel special.

He held so much power over her and she didn’t think he realized that. If it was because of him being a celestial or just to him being clueless Lucifer she wasn’t sure. Probably both.

“…well of course I could turn the basement into a meth lab” he seemed to be talking to himself.

“Wait what?” her neck protested at the quick movement, her eyes narrowed when he smirked.

“Darling” the moniker shouldn’t make her stomach erupt in butterflies like some teenager “you were zoning out on me for a while there. The meth lab would’ve been the least of your problems. What gives, Detective? Sure my Father couldn’t have been worse than my mother?” there was a hint of uneasiness there. Charlotte Richards/Goddess of Creation had been one hell of a rollercoaster to wrap her head around. She wasn’t sure if meeting possessed-corpse-lawyer was the equal to meeting actual, honest to God, _God_. A.k.a. “Dear old Dad”.

“No, it’s not that. I’m sorry, I guess I am a bit distracted” she took a sip of her wine for something better to do.

His eyeliner-rimmed eyes went darker at her statement, his face minutely darkening. She wouldn’t have noticed it if she hadn’t known him for so many years. “You know I don’t enjoy lying”

She wanted to scream at him that he’d lied to her multiple times but now wasn’t the time. He hidden the truth –same as lying to her– so many times. What was probably worse was that she still didn’t understand _why_. He knew she was a _detective_ , she needed proof, concrete, tangible proof. Yet he’d hoped she would take his word for it.

“It’s just… complicated” _we’re incredible_. It felt like mockery now.

“Well, we have time” he settled more comfortably into the chair. Expensive Armani perfectly fitting his body, not one crease on sight.

“Later” she’d rather keep this behind closed doors. No need to display whatever it was that was going to happen to an audience.

“Whatever you desire,” he said voice flat.

The server came and they didn’t talk about it again.

Two days later he was playing with Dan’s pocketknife -she assumed he’d stolen it. The soft click-click of the blade when he unsheathed it was extremely loud in the precinct.

Ella came from behind him with some files in hand, startling Lucifer. He instinctively closed his hand over the blade. When he opened his hand again, his skin was still as perfect as ever. He calmly greeted Ella, playing off his reaction.

Chloe couldn’t stop staring at his unblemished hand.

He pushed her out of the way of a hailstorm of bullets without a second glance. Calmly placed her behind some crates and made his way to deal with the person that’d shot at her.

She could hear the screams for mercy second later.

He’d fussed over her like he always did, complaining from time to time about bullets ruining perfect Armani.

It was a good thing. _It was a good thing_.

It was as if ice was creeping over her chest, seizing her throat every time she was reminded of his invulnerability, his immortality. He had his mojo back. “I’ll always tell you what I desire,” he’d said, cheeky grin in place. She believed him, but couldn’t he see it wasn’t about that?

_I’ve just put a tiny dent in the giant wall that you’ve erected around yourself._

_I think I may have dropped my guard._

He invited her over to Lux. “Clothes optional” the text had said. She’d still put on something nice, a high-neck shirt with black jeans and high heels. The necklace he'd given her was already warm against her skin. Her hair up in a purposefully messy ponytail. The bouncer greeted her as always with the glares of the people in line burning at her back.

The satisfaction of knowing she was always first at Lux, –his home– wasn’t enough to abate the pressure at her chest.

Lucifer was playing at the piano. The light seemed to hug his figure, making it seem like _he_ was the one exuding light. Lightbringer indeed. She was reminded of his angel status, the actual Devi. The “oh shit I’m dating the Actual Devil” moments were few and farther in between. But he had _wings_ for fuck’s sake.

She enjoyed watching him perform. She’d sit at the bar, Patrick would be in an instant at her elbow with a drink. The way the crowd turned to him whenever he stepped into his small kingdom still managed to amaze her. She wasn’t affected by his charm, but moments like these, she could almost feel the pull of him. The pulsing and breathing of every person in unison just begging for a moment of attention from temptation itself.

The ding of the elevator resonated in the marble floors of the penthouse, followed by her footsteps. She made her way to the couch and sat there in a vain attempt to calm down. Every since finding out Lucifer was invulnerable, whenever she walked into the penthouse her eyes would drift to the carpet where he’d fallen. Her heart had stopped right then and there, until she heard him gasp.

 _It_ _was a good thing_.

The weird plant-like chandelier was still there. She had to ask him about it some time.

The elevator chime preceded him: “Detective!” his greeting was as enthusiastic as always. He made her way towards her and leaned forward kissing her. He tasted of bourbon and smoke. Even sitting, her knees went weak and her heart sped up.

“You look absolutely ravishing my dear. Now up, come on, dinner awaits” he helped her to her feet giving her a dazzling smile. She couldn’t help but smile in return. No matter what was going on in her life, whenever he smiled at her like that it made her feel –for just a moment– as if all was right in the world.

He led her to the balcony. A small table was set between the two outdoor couches. Candles were artfully placed around the space giving everything a soft amber glow. Her breath caught in her throat “It’s beautiful”

“Not as much as you” came his easy reply right next to her ear. A shiver went down her spine. He didn’t lie. How could she doubt this man when he said things like that?

He pulled a chair out for her, served her a glass and gave her a soft kiss on the top of her head before looking for the dinner he’d cooked. Some meat and vegetable concoction that had her mouth watering just by smelling it.

They chatted amicably over the food. He asked about Trixie and she told him her latest exploits –she’d decided she was going to be President of the US _before_ becoming President of Mars. He listened to every words and asked for details every time. Even if he refused to admit it she could see he cared, for “the spawn” as he insisted on calling her.

After the food was finished she began helping him take everything to the kitchen despite his protests.

“Lucifer, the least I can do is help you”

“I could think of other things you could do” the lecherous smirk didn’t leave his lips once.

Fuck yes. She rolled her eyes “later”

He lit up.

They made their way to the kitchen where she handed him the dishes for him to clean, “ _dishwasher, ¿what on earth for?”_ They stayed in comfortable silence, the wine made her feel lighter, the ambience softer, warmer. She really, really loved him, she noticed. The angel that refused to buy a dishwasher, cooked dinner for her, and still didn’t understand why her daughter had to go to school.

She didn’t tell him though. The last time she’d told him she loved him time had stopped and God had shown up. Logically, she knew it didn’t have to do with her. She still kept her mouth shut.

He was rambling on and on about how _annoying_ Amenediel was being about Charlie. Talking a mile an hour and gesturing wildly with his hands. She finished drying the knife before giving it to him to put away.

His hiss of pain made her drop the knife that clattered to the floor. “What in Dad’s name?” he stared at his hand with a crease between his eyebrows. He lifted his eyes and looked at her, then at the knife in the ground. She followed his gaze in an attempt to understand what was wrong.

The knife was the same he’d used to cut the meat, nothing special about it –besides being really expensive, probably.

He gracefully bent down and picked up the knife. Slowly, he pushed the tip of it against his index finger. She tramped down the small flicker of hope that he’d be injured. Lucifer being invulnerable was _good_. Had to be. “Lucifer what are you doing?”

“Now you do it” he gave her the handle of the knife.

“Lucifer, what?”

“Detective, please” something in the way he’d said it made her acquiesce

She grabbed the knife and pushed the tip against his extended finger. There wasn’t much intent behind the movement, even if he wasn’t vulnerable he still _looked_ human and instincts prevented her from doing something than on another person would cause actual damage. She also knew she’d hate herself if she injured him when meaning it like that.

She drew blood.

He started bleeding from the tip of his finger. Nothing serious, just a small drop swelling over the skin surface.

“What?” her voice sounded sore even to her own ears. She felt a part of her brain ping with the answer to her question. She refused to acknowledge it, it would be too dangerous.

Lucifer muttered noncommittally and brought his finger up for closer inspection.

“I suppose you wouldn’t be willing to shoot me, right darling?” he looked at her with a questioning gaze, finger still up.

“What? Lucifer no! I don’t care that you’re invulnerable, I’m not shooting you!” she could feel the bullet necklace against her chest, suddenly aware of its presence.

“Ah see, but that is the thing. I don’t think I am” he answered, calm as always but with something _more_ lingering behind his eyes.

He opened his hand, showing her his palm. There was a small cut across it. When he’d reached for the knife, he’d managed to enclose part of the blade in his hand. Because he was an idiot with no concern for safety who also happened to be invulnerable.

She took his hand in hers, the small cut was still bleeding. “I did that?” she asked, almost to herself. They’d have to disinfect it.

“It would appear so” he said with what sounded like pride in his voice.

“But, how?” she wasn’t an angel, nor a demon, nor anything. Plain old Chloe Decker.

“I think I am still vulnerable around you. But _only_ for you” he said pensive, not at all alarmed like she’d expect him to be.

“What do you mean?” she was sounding like a broken record.

He looked off into the distance for a moment; she could see the gears turning in his head until something dawned on him.

“I actually discussed this possibility with the Doctor”

She waited him out. Was this some elaborate prank? If it was he was _so_ dead, angel or not.

“When we were in the apartment with the fake Whisper Killer” when she’d found him slumped on the floor because _she_ was close. When he’d been defenseless with only his eyes moving. She’d never seen him like that, so still, so un-Lucifer. It had been her fault and she still wanted to make him vulnerable?

“I’m sorry” she said with a small voice. She dropped his hand, her shoulders up to her ears. How could she? _Desiring_ for someone to be vulnerable? What for? So she could feel better in the relationship? It was ridiculous. Selfish.

Lucifer was caught mid spiel and turned a questioning look to her.

She steeled herself. Her mouth refused to form around the thoughts that had been jumping around her head “I- when you stopped being vulnerable around me I…”

“But that’s just it, I’m not” he said with a small smile. He was absolutely at ease, a perfect contrast to her stiff posture.

“Lucifer” What she’d wanted was _wrong_. She shouldn’t have wished for his pain. The last time she’d wished for that was when she’d thought he was evil and wanted to send him back to hell. How could she have?

“Detective” and she could see he was ready to begin explaining again.

“I wanted you to be vulnerable,” she said in a breath.

“What?”

“I _wanted_ you to be vulnerable,” she repeated without looking at him. “It made me think that maybe you were letting me in. It’s stupid I know” _now_ she realized “but it made me feel different, special. Like we were on more even ground and for that I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have wanted that” her eyes were burning.

“The heart wants what it wants, darling,” he answered, and he should know, right?

She went to interrupt him. Why didn’t he understand? He should’ve kicked her out of his house already.

“No. Let me explain” he took her hands in his once more. He made her look him in the eyes and spoke as if his life depended on it “In that apartment, when I could see _him_ ” and so much poison dripped from that just one word “behind you. About to harm you, the only thing I wanted was to be able to protect you. I didn’t want to be vulnerable around you not because _of_ you but because of the harm that could come _to_ you otherwise.” He sighed and finished in a more subdued tone “I can’t bear the possibility that harm might come to you if I can prevent it.”

He put his hand on her cheek and slowly caressed it and smiled softly at her. He sometimes got the same look when she kissed him. It managed to make her heart flip every single time.

“You’re vulnerable but not?” her brain felt like a train had derailed and caught on fire all at once.

“I’m not vulnerable for others, what would be the point?” he shrugged as if it was obvious “but for _you_. You hold so much power over me I-Chloe, over my… my _soul_ , that of course I would be vulnerable for you. If that makes sense?”

“Not at all” it wasn’t just that he was a literal _angel_ , though that did contribute. She was so blinded by her love sometimes it still surprised her that he could feel even a bit the same about her “So I can hurt you?”

“Well it’s not like that is news darling” he said with a chuckle.

“But why would you want that?” she was hot and cold today huh. At first wanting him to be vulnerable now questioning it and wondering _why on earth_ he’d want that. Subconsious or not.

“I suppose, for the same reason I was vulnerable _around_ you in the beginning” he took both her hands in his “though now the vulnerability seems to be more… focused” he finished still staring at their joined hands.

She stayed quiet. She didn’t know what to say to that. It was all too much to process. She, of course, settled for the more petulant aspect of their heavy conversation “You’re not pushing me out?” she looked up to him, their noses almost touching.

“Never” he closed the gap between them, stealing her breath away once more.

**Author's Note:**

> Congratulations for making it to the end! Kudos will feed my soul and constructive criticism (mainly the writing itself, not so much the characters) is welcome!


End file.
